Loss

February 11, 2017

Lost a true friend this evening.  Most of you did not know her, but I was lucky enough to say I did.  She was only here for a short time, but she blessed those she knew every day.  She was kind, gentle, loving, humble, smart, patient, and she was an excellent teacher.  She taught her siblings how to behave and her passing will leave a hole in many lives.  I saw her for the last time on 2/10/17 and am so very thankful for that visit.  I told her I loved her as I left last night and thought I would see her again, but life seldom works the way you want it to.  Got a text a few hours ago that she was gone and I felt my heart breaking and tears welling in my eyes.

Good night Miss Syrah.  Have a safe journey and enjoy your trip over the Rainbow Bridge and know that you have been loved, and you will be sorely missed in the days to come.  You will have a place in all out hearts for eternity.  Love you.

Growing Up

As a child I could not wait to grow up, and looked forward to being taller, older, and smarter.  When I became a teenager I wanted to be cooler, accepted, and attractive to the opposite sex.  Young adulthood brought on a new set of concerns.  Hormones ran amok, parties were wild, and life was there to be tasted.  Middle age was about raising kids, creating a home, keeping your job, paying bills, going to church, and living life the way you thought you should...or at least the way your parents told you.

I am grown up now, am taller, older and hopefully smarter.  I accept who I am, am not as excited about how attractive I am to the opposite sex, and being cooler is something that happens to me in the fall.  Hormones have slowed to a crawl, I have parties of one, and cooking is a passion that supplies the tastes needed.  Kids are raised, I pay my bills, am employed, my church is within me (my soul) and I live my life with all that I have.

I cry daily as I am constantly touched by words in a song, seeing homeless people seeking shelter, animals being abused, sunrises and sunsets, leaves falling, snowflakes piling up, and grand babies learning to walk.  With practice I have learned to smile at adversity, grin at pain, accept the bad, and strive to make things better.  Life has dealt me a myriad of cards to play and the card gods have laughed often as they see me struggle to play my hand.  In the words of the late Wayne Dyer, "I am as perfect as I can be right now".  I will keep trying to be better, but I am a work in progress and by no stretch am I done growing.

Time stops for no one.  2017 is here and I hope to make it better than 2016.

Thanksgiving 2016

For years the approaching of these holidays has caused me to reflect, and each year gets a little more reflective, if you know what I mean.  While sitting at the kitchen bar, as I often do, I think of the memories I have from a childhood growing up simply in the Midwest.  We didn't have much, and quite frankly we didn't need much.  All I wanted as a kid was someone to play tag or hide and seek with and to be out of school for a period of time longer than a weekend.  Life was not busy then.  There was no face book, no cell phones ( we had what they called party lines) for sure no computers, and no one was protesting the presidential election.  Oh sure there was unrest because of Viet Nam, but largely the protests were peaceful and done via "sit-ins" for the "make love not war" generation of which I am one.

I also remember family gatherings where the "elders" would sit and talk over coffee after the meal and discuss politics and religion...something we kids knew little about, so we played games and such.  I do, however, recall times when the aunts and uncles (our moms and dads) would differ in their opinions and voices would raise to an uncomfortable level, but always would subside with the understanding that all were entitled to their opinion.  When done they smiled, hugged, went their way and met the next year for more intriguing dialog.

I wasn't overtly paying attention then, but learned alot nonetheless.  I learned to respect the elders for what they went through and what they knew.  Learned that not everything was easy, good, or worth having, and learned that hard work is what got you what you wanted.  I also learned that I must not have done a good job of passing this on to the next generation, because look at us now.  We have become molded by things outside our families and are influenced by thoughts that appeal to, but are not achievable by many if any us.  Everything that is done comes with a cost.

I am thankful for ALL that I have been through because it made me what I am.  Not because I think it made me better than you, but because it made me the best I can be right at this moment.  I will keep learning to grow, accept, advance, teach, hurt, rejoice, and yes love all that is this mankind we find ourselves in the midst of today.

Three Day Weekend

Had a strange day today.  A rare day which I am not used to on a Friday.  Took a PTO (personal time off) day, changed my phone message and changed my out of office message on my email.  However, just because you change those things does not stop people from calling or sending emails.  Somehow though, today it did and it allowed me the luxury of introspection.

After planning my menu for the weekend and beyond, I was able to just sit.  No TV, no radio, no CDs just me and Abbigail in the silence of the day.  Occasionally she would snore while napping, and from time to time I would reflect on days gone by with smiles of what had been and dreams of what could be.  Life's good stuff is fun, and life's tough stuff makes you stronger, and God knows I have seen my share of tough stuff.  I choose to dwell on the good stuff.

I am blessed that my life's road has taken the turns it has taken, that I have loved those that I have, and that I am surrounded by those that care for me.  I have seen magnificent sunrises and hope to see many more, have laughed until I cried, and cried into laughter, loved until it hurt and hurt from the love.  All this I felt today...in the quiet of the day.  It felt good and brought a wholeness to me that I haven't felt in a while.  Now I have Saturday and Sunday to revel in my discoveries, and I look forward to that.

The Human Condition

When was the last time you touched a soul?  Felt good didn't it?  Had an experience recently that made an impression on me and without all the details, suffice it to say it had an effect.  I didn't know the person, had never met them, in fact had never talked with them before this past week.  Yet I touched their soul in a very unexpected way and they touched mine as well.  Be aware of those in need around you for they will not tell you they are in need.  Listen to what they are not saying as their words are most often a shield.  Be ready to care for the feelings they have...after all, what they feel is reel to them and is often all they have.

Pork and Kraut

October 8, 2016 and hurricane Matthew will not leave the area.  The rain has been non stop for several hours and the sun is absent.  Looks like it is 7 PM but is only 2 in the afternoon.  Have been working on pork loin and kraut dish for a good bit and is close to done...I hope.  Bavarian kraut, sliced apples, onions, potatoes, brown sugar and the pork loin roast cooked all together in a 2-3 quart baking dish.  House smells wonderful, and the aroma therapy on a day like today has been a blessing.

Five o'clock and finally have a taste of my labor, and is all that I hoped it would be.  A German taste treat.  Pork is tender and moist, kraut is sweet and tender, apples and onions added texture and flavor, and all is well this evening.  The rain has ended and though the sun is still absent, I am full, and pleased, and lazy.  Will do this again.  If you are interested in this dish let me know and I will send along the recipe with changes I made to the original along with a mustard sauce for the pork.  FRANK-N-SENSE

Pink Heals

Had a great experience today.  Didn't know what to expect, and for sure didn't expect the weather we got.  But you know what, the weather was the least of my worries.  I was there to help regardless of the conditions.

The 5K Color Rush was held today at Wilderness Presidential Resort on route 3 west of Fredericksburg to raise money for pediatric cancer.  Up at 3:30 AM to be there at 5:00 AM and help with balloons, signage, water and whatever else was asked, The Frederiscksburg Parrotheads met to help...an inconvenience to get up so early, but a help to those less fortunate.  Coffee and pastries for a quick bite, visiting with each other, and 30 gallon garbage bags full of balloons was how the day began.

We set up balloons at the start/finish line, helped with banners for a radio station, and loaded 50 cases of water on a pickup for the runners.  As the sun came up and daylight broke, the clouds and rains followed...slowly at first, then more heavy.  We found garbage bags, made holes for our head and arms and proceeded with the program with smiles on our faces and by the time we left we were soaked.  The young man being honored, along with his family, arrived in a pink firetruck, and two of our members, Rick and Andy, gave some Green Bay Packer merchandise to him.  Quite touching.

We all took many pictures and will post them on Face Book, but the memories will last longer than any pictures at least for me.  These kids have only begun their lives and have already been stricken with a disease that may take them away before they have a chance to enjoy their time here.  Where is the justice in that?  I am so thankful for my time today and would do it again in a heartbeat and I invite you all to get involved.